The Paths of Destiny and Choice

Around us the world moves and flows, the choses we make in life defines us.   We begin making choses in one or another as soon as we begin to analyze the world around us.  Do we walk to the toy or do we crawl to mum or dad. Do we ignore them as they call us and play with the toy!

At a young age our decisions maybe wrong put our parents, Teachers and those around us guide us.  All our decisions are not good but we decide at young age to experiment.  We may feed of others we may be the leader.  We decide to react to or to ignore the situation.  We also base decisions on what we think others we like.

My oldest has made decisions I am not proud of recently.  He is for some reason obsessed with his butt and decided to show it to his classmates; note he is only 4.  I don’t agree neither do others.  I am not sure what the chose means for later in life.  He is definitely a free spirit, and out of the box thinker.   He would rather create his own world and live in it.  A world mixed of Star Wars and Lego a world that can be created and mimicked.

Mattis loves to draw and creates unique items he has a genuine chance to love art.  My wife is an Aritist I love to create and write; and let my mind flow and see where it goes.

Back to the original topic life decisions and how they affect us.  Someone may praise you and you excel or they may praise you and you don’t like it in your heart so you don’t continue.  Negativity does the same to kids they can feed of it or they can be traumatized by it.   I am not condoning this I am just making a point.  They do this because the strive for attention and will take whatever they get.  How do we as parents turn it around that is a question to figure out as you learn to be a parent since every child reacts different to different things.

I know as parents we strive to improve our kids and we wonder do they just not understand; or do some understand and others don’t that is the question that frustrates us as parent making the decions for our kids and trying to get them to make decisions.  The question is do they understand now or later do some understand later in life the lessons of early.

Do we as parents put our own fears in our kids with not even trying or without our knowledge? Do we try not to and somehow they read us and know.  I had many fears as  kid but as an adult I have worked to overcome them and have conquered the fear.  I have trained myself to not fear it by listening to the ideas of others and trying it.  The first was public speaking I hated it but I was told two key pieces by an instructor in College when I mentioned this to hear.  Envision the most beautiful person in the room in there underwear and talk about an experience close to you.  It worked.

The thing I am beginning to wonder is do we strive four our kids to be too perfect in life and to not be kids.  Should we let them learn our mistakes as we did, should we just encourage them and let them learn from the world around them.  Should we guide them when they make the mistake I believe yes.  Should we punish them I agree as well as consequences are they key to succeeding in life.  Because for every action there is an action or reaction good or bad and kids need to understand.  The key is love but tough Love with fairness in life.   I have learned that we can be tough but fair at the same time.  Compliments go a long way in life.  It is not only kids that like to be complimented but adults too.  We want to be acknowledged for accomplishments at work.

Being Rewarded is part of being human.  We take positive compliments well but we don’t take negativity well.  Some of us shut down and some of us try to improve and strive to not do it again or find ways to improve.  Some of us even lash-out without even knowing it and make things worse.  This is the reaction of a toddler or young kid.  Some might do pieces of each reaction.

I remember one thing I was told that had an impact on my life and the choses I have made.  Back in 1994 we were sitting in the bar watching the World Basketball Championship that was hosted in Toronto I was doing my Wal-mart management training we were in the bar at the Ramada City Hall as it was called at the time.  One of the senior VP’s of Wal-mart was at the table next to us and heard us talking about putting a smile on our face and greeting the customer with a smile every day.  He said to us “Just remember this in life that no matter what night Mickey Mouse has or how he walks up in the morning Mickey Mouse always has a smile on his face.”

What does this mean in life I have thought about this a lot and have made it part of my life but it simply means “That we leave our problems behind us and move forward with a smile since the people we work with don’t care about our problems but want us there for their problems”.  People go to Disney to see the smiling mouse and no matter what we do in life people want to see a smile on your face and your best foot forward.  This applies more so to the service industry but can be made to apply to any aspect of life because at some point we are in service role whether we realize it or not.  Another key piece is that Mickey Mouse always exudes confidence and we should all attain to that as we are hero like Mickey to our Children and even those around us whether we want to  be or not.

Another piece to this is the simplicity that we leave the past behind us and move forward in life changing the lives of those near us.  A simple decision can change things a simple comment can make or break the spirit of a person.  The key point I am trying to make with this is that we need to embrace the challenges of life and remember them but move forward.   I lost my father at a young age and sure I remember him and what he taught me but not everyone knows he is gone I have chosen to remember and move on.  My Father was a great man and a person I am proud of to this day to have known.  I only hope when I pass that I am half the man he was.

In life decisions define us in our daily lives and the past of our ancestors define us and make us who we are.  There pieces are in us all and have a key part in our decisions whether we realize it or not.  Were they a war hero were they in Politics these pieces draw us forward to some degree in life?  I know this to be true I have several Politicians in my past and I have a desire to follow in their steps.  If you know your past you will understand what drives you and what makes you who you are.  These pieces are key to move us forward in life.  Sure we might not know but if we understand the why we will know the key to our desires and what moves us.

The decisions we make define us and move us backwards or forwards in life theyare the key to who we are; They define us they guide us.

I once hear that we must remember this that if we were die tomorrow and our eulogy were to be written what would it say and could anyone do it with confidence; and what they say about you.  The only way to truly do this is to put yourself in some one elses shoes a co-worker a friend or a person who were on a committee with.  Do you ask one person or do you want anyone to write the eulogy that you have touched.  The key is anyone because you never know who will be asked to write your eulogy.

I know my wife could ask many people to do my eulogy and audit my life and most could say something great about me am I boasting maybe but I  try to touch the people I met it might be short but if you piece together many it would be a great testament to my life.   The strange thing is my best friend  or my hairdresser would be the best you ask why the hairdresser.  I have gone to the same hairdresser for 24 years and hopefully many more.  I once asked by a friend why don’t you date here since we are good friends and I always said why jeopardize a great friendship.   We have done things together and have touched people we even ended up in Arthur after the Tornado in 1996 for a benefit dance just because we thought it the right thing to do after heading to a dance in junior Farmers the night of the dance that still went on.

The key is be prominent but not overbearing be a friend not an enemy take notice and people will remember you if you touch them they will touch you in some capacity.  You need to be the person that is not in the shadows but the persons that stands out and goes beyond the shadows.

I learned one key thing early in life after my father passed at young age of Cancer that there is no need to wait for tomorrow but to embrace today and flow with it.  This philosophy posseed me to go work in Bosnia-Herzegovina for 6 months on a NATO contract.  I look back at his life and that is how he lived his life he enjoyed life and embarrassed the simple things.  It could have been as simple as substituting for the piper who forgot to show up at a Bonspiel by grabbing a vacuum cleaner and piping in the final draw.

This very thing possessed me to help with the Bonspiel in 1999 and take over as the Chair in 2002 when I thought it had lost touch with my father’s vision for the Bonspiel and how it should be run.   I ran it for for 7 years before resigning in 2009.  A few years as Co-Chair and 5 as chair.  When I finally let go in 2009 I did it to make a legacy for myself but to not save my father’s legacy.  I needed to let go to realize this because my father was one of the people that defined it and wanted to save his memory or my memory of it but in the process was creating my legacy and not his. 

This goes back to the piece about knowing our past and how it defines us we are defined by our ancestors whether we realize it or not.  We take what we believe and what is in our genes and create our own legacy in life.

The simple key or complex key however you look at it is that we are a prodigy of our past and whether we want to or not we define the future generations; whether we realize it or not our genes define us our genes are passed on to the subsequent generations.   We are all a product of the past and a key to the future.